Anthropomorphised

If you've ever watched a Disney or Pixar film you'll know that cute little animals, hulking great animals, otherwise-inanimate objects such as teapots and desk lamps, and vehicles, all can occasionally spring to life possessed (I chose the word carefully) with human characteristics.

Characteristics such as speech, gait, actions, and faces.

There's something endearing about a nonhuman thing doing human things, and the film industry knows this. They don't always get it right, as has been discussed endlessly on the Internet.

A prime example in film is Cars. And Planes. Everyone knows the defining feature of a car's face is its eyes – the headlamps. Yet in Cars, and in Planes, the eyes are the windscreens. It's just wrong.

Earlier, anticipating only to extend my toilet seat streak, I walked into the gents here. After one slightly awkward conversation with a colleague entering behind – a chat about clenching and kids films – I sat.

Cold toilet seat streak preserved, yay!

But could I 'go'? The hell I could. Stage-fright?

The imagined ranks of too-big-and-unnaturally-positioned-eyed vehicles passing my minds eye entirely put me off. The forklift trucks especially, scurrying about, never remaining still…

I don't appear to have a poo-with-eyes emoji in my phone keyboard. Perhaps it's just as well.

Lunchtime.

Not a packet of potato crisps, for obvious reasons.

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