Dinner today will be easy: hotdogs, buns to encase them, tomato ketchup. That's me and the girls accounted for.

I read the cooking instructions on the label. Bad move. Not the act of reading, no, it's what I read of the ingredients.

Mechanically-separated chicken.

I'm hoping against hope it means something like free-range does for eggs, but that the chickens wear inflatable 'skirts' to protect them against farmyard collisions.

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