We have a dog. Ruby is lovely. Smelly, eats poo, she's as mad as a box of…

We have a cat. Mollie is lovely. Very ladylike, and even when she's shouting at me for being too slow getting her meals ready, delightful.

We have another cat. Loki is a right royal pain in the arse! He's coming up to 15 years old and, though showing signs of slowing down, is getting better at one thing…

Shouting, caterwauling, making frankly disturbing noises when he finds his soft toy and engages in very focused, er… 'behaviour' with it.

Ok, lots of annoying things. He's the last thing I hear at night and the first in the morning. It's got to the stage I want to launch him somewhere very, very far-away…

But no.

He's family.