In case no-one already said this, there will be no histrionics or mean-spiritedness during the trump family’s last day in the White House; donnie’s departure will be televisually stage-managed to perfection to make it look as if he’s been both in control and statesmanlike throughout the last 5 years. The crowd outside, this time, this time, really will be the biggest ever (all-masked, but that’s not important right now) gathering to fill the public spaces around Washington DC.

Heck, he will say a few rational and coherent words as he shakes Joe’s and Jill’s hands with a firm (but not too firm) grip whilst the trumps copy the Obamas’ departing grace, poise, sense of decorum, call it what you will.

Melanie won’t swat his hand away on the easy walk down the steps before crossing to the waiting helicopter as the band plays; donnie will salute the Marine before turning and effortlessly climbing the steps and, as he casually lets down the umbrella, he’ll lift his heel to show his shoe’s complete absence of toilet paper.

And this is what people will remember, it really will be this good.

Fark knows they’ll have the time to rehearse, to get it right; even a complete idiot could copy a century-old playbook, am I right?