Pumpkin puppy had her first major haircut a few weeks ago, going from this delightfully shaggy dog:
Pumpkin puppy, a cavapoo dog in need of a haircut.
To this somewhat severe poodle-styled cut:
Pumpkin looking surprised after a rather over-zealous haircut. It’d be fair to say none of us are happy with the cut – making her look more like a poodle than a poodle-Cavalier King Charles spaniel hybrid.
Though we’ve used the grooming place for 10 years (with Ruby dog), and though Pumpkin’s first trim was fine we probably won’t be going back again. They completely ignored my wife’s instructions to give Pumpkin an overall trim, just clearing her eyes and arse of the longest hair…
To be fair, she can see now. And her hair will grow to look more like her ‘breed’ should.
My wife bought me a CD (Compact Disc) for Valentine’s Day, for my car, to be played when she’s not in it. Though she respects the influence the band had on the music recording industry she’s not a fan of Talking Heads. She’ll listen to other people’s cover versions though, and is especially fond of Simply Red’s ‘Heaven’. Weird.
But I have a shiny new CD.
Talking Heads ‘The Best Of Talking Heads’ compilation album. Pumpkin puppy wonders if she can chew the case. No Pumpkin, over my dead body.
It took way longer than I wanted to fight my way through the plastic wrapper, the pull tab on the strip running around it was completely hidden. Fingernails scrabbling at the wrapper overlap at the top edge of the case used to be the way I got in, and today was no exception.
Extracted it, placed it in the DVD player under the TV, closed the tray and pressed ▶️.
And this is what I see.
A useless CD track listing in a TV, indicating only Track 1, Track 2, etc., though it does show track durations.
What century are we living in?
Well, right now I am living in the nineteen-seventies and eighties – matching the dates of the tracks (from 1977 to 1988). And do you know, it wasn’t a bad time to grow up after all.
Anyway, for me there’s just one track missing from this 18 track album – and it’s ‘Making Flippy Floppy’.
My favourites on this disc though?
All. They made enough to leave a tremendous legacy, but not enough to get tired of. And while I like to think after all these years I’ve heard all of their stuff I know I haven’t.
Ok, ok.
‘This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody)’. It’s on right now.
I wanted it to be played on the last App.net social network’s Monday Night Dance Party, but making the request spelled the DJ’s @ name incorrectly.
I’ve been using Things 3 for iOS for some months now and generally get along with it well. It’s not as complex or as fully-featured as OmniFocus can be or as difficult for me to use as Todoist, but…
Or I was using it until I saw a summary of how far Apple’s own Reminders has come since the last time I tried to use it.
A screenshot cropped from the latest Apple Reminders app on my iPhone XS.
After finding a script to export everything1 from Things into Reminders I’ve spent time over the last day re-adding dates, times and repeats.
And I’m happy to say Reminders now does everything I want from it.
And I can share the responsibility of bringing reminded about things with the rest of my family now. Apart from my wife, who resolutely fails to consider Apple devices as usable.
Heck, it even seems to me to share feature parity and ease of use with OmniFocus from iOS 6. This is a good thing.
I was wrong, I’d missed a couple of quite significant lists. Anyway, unlike the regular share that exports all a list’s entries into a single task, the script at least shares complete entries to other apps. ↩
A conversation with my wife, the evening before Valentine’s Day 2025:
Me, “How much cock do you think is in there?”
She, “12%?”
Me, “No, it’s only 2%.”
She, disappointed, “…”.
Me, “How about leekie?”
She, “3%?”
Me, “No, it’s 11%!”
She, “…” again.
She’d bought me a 400g tin of Baxters ‘Cock-A-Leekie” soup. Its blurb:
“The finest leeks, succulent chicken, tender rice and freshly grated juicy carrots – that’s what makes our Cock-a-Leekie soup the very best. No wonder this traditional Scottish recipe is loved by so many.”
– Audrey Baxter.
From the Baxters shop site, a photo of a typical tin of Baxters Cock-A-Leekie soup.
There’s a fundamental flaw in my reasoning in my recent post – it stemmed from a willingness to believe the starting point I chose had a more direct relationship to the team’s overall performance during the past few years.
I made amendments after some useful feedback in Reddit’s r/Browns, picking a different entry point – the year I became a fan. It brought a more simplistic summary of the Browns:
We lose for 2 seasons and get into the playoffs every 3 seasons.
Loss-loss-playoffs-loss-loss-playoffs, etc.
2018-2019-2020-2021-2022-2023-2024-(2025)-(2026).
Sure the sample size is limited, but I want to believe we’ve another playoff appearance in 2026.
Super Bowl?
Shuggie Bear and a Frawg wearing a Cleveland Browns helmet. They’re stood and sat in a totally realistic lily pond.
Col on Mastodon provided me with more inspiration earlier, this time with a post linking to a Sky News article entitled “Nearly all US aid programmes worldwide frozen after Trump order“. POTUS1 also questioned the need for FEMA – the USA’s own disaster management body tasked with assisting states in times of dire emergency. But anyway…
I wrote a program designed to guide budding diplomats through the maze of decision making when it comes to aliens.
No, not 👽 aliens, but I’ve no doubt the same logic will be applied when The Space Browns arrive to save my Cleveland Browns.
The program is thankfully devoid of AI, and honestly it’s pretty BASIC.
1 REM ### DecSurpPop v0.01a ###
10 DealWithKids = 0
20 USForeignPolicyKids = 0
30 Month = 0
40 HellFreezesOver = 0
50 WHILE USForeignPolicyKids = 0
60 DealWithKids = 0
70 Month = Month + 3
80 IF Month = 3 THEN Month = 0
90 USForeignPolicyKids = RND()*1776
100 IF USForeignPolicyKids = 1 THEN HellFreezesOver = RND()*2025
110 WEND
120 IF HellFreezesOver = 1 THEN END ELSE GOTO 10
There are no integers on 90 & 100, it sounds too much like “integrate”.
Disclaimer: I am not a professional programmer, so before using this as an integral (ugh!) plank of your basis of government a check of its syntax may be appropriate.
An acronym for the current President Of The United States. Please check which you’re following on any social or government account – it’s been rolled over from the previous incumbent. ↩
A few days ago a post on Mastodon caught my eye, posted under the content warning “unexpected lewd at the grocery store”. I’m not linking to it here because I can’t remember the privacy settings of the 2 other participants.
My wife brought both these home 18 months ago; Cock soup is fine, I’ve had it a few times since (giggling each time) and Shito sauce is something everyone must try at least once in their lives.
I liked the Shito so much I took it into work in case anyone wished to share my unfettered joy and give the jar a good home. I felt so lucky when my colleagues only sampled it, such was their love for me.
Anyway, I was moved to take this photo.
A sachet of Cock flavour noodle soup (“a Caribbean favourite”) and a jar of Shito hot chilli sauce with shrimp (a Ghanaian staple).
Fibonacci (also known as Leonardo Fibonacci, Leonardo Bonacci or Leonardo Pisano) was born in Pisa, Italy in 1170 and died around 1250. He was a talented mathematician1 probably most famous for popularising the Arabic numbering system and a number sequence named after him – The Fibonacci sequence or Fibonacci numbers.2
I, on the other hand, am not a talented mathematician. I’m a Browns fan.
Nevertheless I’m about to link Fibonacci numbers – more precisely the Fibonacci spiral3 – with the performance of the Cleveland Browns onwards from the disastrous 2016 and 2017 seasons.4 Note, not attempting to link, actually linking.
By the way, before the mathematicians shout at me, though closely linked to the Golden spiral5, Fibonacci’s is composed of a series of 90° arcs within squares of increasing size. It’s not a ‘pure’, continuous geometric shape thingy.
Here’s an image rotated from the Wikipedia original of the Fibonacci spiral in coloured squares, numbered upto 216.
A Fibonacci spiral, with the 1 ,1 ,2 ,3, 5, 8, 13 and 21 squares coloured respectively white, magenta, purple, blue, cyan, green, orange and red. The image and thus the numbers are upside down because it better-illustrates the point I wish to make.
We shall start on this silly journey with the Browns 2016 season represented by the white square. 2016 was bad for the team. Really bad. 1 win from 16 games played. The arc goes up a bit and to the left.
2017 was bad. Worse. Absolutely dire. So the arc in the magenta square drops to the left, representing the zero (0) wins from 16 games.
Now 2018 is when I became a fan of the team. Although the purple arc goes downwards it goes to the right. 2018 brought 7 wins and a tie (!) from 16 games. Woohoo! It was a season of promise, of hope. And we got rid of Head Coach Hue Jackson. Which was nice.
In 2019 the progress regressed a bit, to 6 wins from 16 games, so although the blue arc goes up and to the right it doesn’t fit this scheme I’m outlining. 2019 was generally seen by Browns fans to be a disappointing aberration, so I’m giving Fibonacci a pass on this one. He’s no Nostradamus7 so couldn’t have foreseen Head Coach Freddie Kitchens – promoted beyond his ability at the time.
2020, wow. Cyan, numbered ‘5’. The curve goes up and to the left. An 11 win season from 16. We vaulted into the playoffs, beating the steelers twice in succession, and only falling to the Kansas City Chiefs in the Divisonal Playoffs. Probably the most enjoyable season of football I’ve ever seen. Kevin Stefanski, Head Coach of the Year.
Now, in 2021 you’d expect the team to capitalise on the preceding season. But no. The green arc goes downwards and to the left. We won 8 games from the expanded schedule of 17 games. Not great. Injuries at crucial positions screwed us over and so disappointment was again the order of that year.
In 2023 we won 11 games from 17. We got into the playoffs and fell immediately to the Houston Texans. Red square, upwards and to the right. We did it with a quarterback dragged off his sofa halfway through the year and plugged into the offense. Joe ‘Elite Dragon’ Flacco.
Still with me?
Let’s carry the sequence on then, for the 2024 season just ended. For us at least. A mere 3 wins from 17 games. So, what does the arc do with a teeny bit of extrapolation? Up, to the left. Colour? Black I’d imagine. Even accounting for our quarter-billion quarterback woes this was a bad one.
Season
W-L-T
Fibonacci
2016
1-15-0
↖️
2017
0-16-0
↙️
2018
7-8-1
↘️
2019
6-10-0
↗️
2020
11-5-0
↖️
2021
8-9-0
↙️
2022
7-10-0
↘️
2023
11-6-0
↗️
2024
3-14-0
↖️
2025
Who knows?
↙️
Browns vs Fibonacci
2025 will have an arc heading down and to the left. Pain for us fans? Of course it is, we’re Browns fans. Colour Brown then? It’s expected that 2025 will be a rebuilding year of sorts for us. Fans are already talking about the dearth of quarterback talent in this year’s draft and so pushing for a mediocre-to-tanking season to get a better 2026 pick.
I’m not one of those fans.
But you can’t argue with the mathematics of all this.
Can you?
Of course you can.
When I posted a version of this to the r/Browns subreddit someone made the point that since Coach Stefanski arrived it’s been a win-lose-win-lose sequence. That’s not entirely true, it’s actually been win-lose-lose-win-lose-lose, etc.
And so I updated the chart:
Season
W-L-T
Fibonacci #, coach
2018
7-8-1
1 (HJ,GW)
2019
6-10-0
1 (FK)
2020
11-5-0
2 (KS)
2021
8-9-0
3 (KS)
2022
7-10-0
5 (KS)
2023
11-6-0
8 (KS)
2024
3-14-0
13 (KS)
2025
Who knows?
21 (KS?)
2026
Super Bowl!
34 (KS?)
There’s a pattern. 2018 and 2019 (before Stefanski arrived) improved on the preceding 2 seasons, but weren’t great. The Fibonacci numbers are odd.
2020 showed up as an even Fibonacci number, and we reached the playoffs. Remember this.
2021 and 2022 again brought a slide in results – odd Fibonaccis both.
2023 was an even numbered year, and we reached the playoffs. Which was nice.
2024, predictably as far as I’m concerned, brought a desperately deep low in my fandom. An odd-numbered year.
2025, well, as an odd Fibonacci I expect nothing better than misery.
But, as the table clearly states, 2026 is going to be a Super Bowl season; we Browns fans should expect nothing less!
Footnotes? Oh yes!
The life, works and legacy of Fibonacci (Wikipedia). ↩
I won our 3-person office NFL ‘Pickem’ this year. We each had to try to correctly predict more winners than the others from every game, every week throughout the 18-week regular season. It’s not a trivial pursuit, it’s not just guessing a result by looking at what other people are thinking.
Before we started none of us really spent time choosing a reward from the others for gaining the ultimate victory.
Anyway one of the guys pushed me a bit for an answer, and so did the other. And today, one brought in his treasured shiny hipflask with something special sloshing gently inside. For me to try.
It’s a ‘Longrow’ 18 year old single malt.
And I’m just about to take my first sip.
And I’m going to make the most of it.
I don’t know much about whiskies or whiskeys, but I do know, when I’ve tried one, what I like.
It smells perfect. It’s peaty, which I like. Love.
Ideally, and it seems extraordinarily churlish of me to say this given the circumstances, my choice would be a Laphroaig 15 year old – probably the most rounded (most polarising) whisky I’ve ever tried. But the price went silly after the company withdrew it then brought it back. It would have been silly to even ask for a miniature bottle.
Ok, I’m going to sample this ‘water of life’ neat from my 20 year old ‘Glencairn’ glass – a most-treasured present from my wife 3 days after we got together.
Please don’t be disappointed that I’m not briniging you an evocation of a Scottish loch in the autumn, crushed walnuts or burning tyre smoke. Naah, it’s unlikely I’d be able to separate stuff out like someone trained in this sniffing, sipping, swirling thing.
I cup the glass across my fingers and palm, take a long sniff, swirl, sniff, anticipation, sip. Think.
Same again, swill it round the old gums. Think.
Feel it going down. Think.
It’s a really good-sized measure this.
Because I’m bloody-well worth it!
Anyway, as an experience after almost-exclusively drinking Bud Light for the last couple of years it’s beyond my ability to describe.
Honestly, I’m not keen on the aftertaste. The initial taste though is awesome, and as it grabs the gums adds to the ‘experience’ a drink costing almost the absolute top end of my limit back when I had…
It slides down really really well too. Really well. Did I mention that already?
I can’t wait to sniff the empty glass in the morning. Trust me if you’ve never tried it, just have a go. I first did it with a Maker’s Mark – a whiskey I hated from the very first sip.
I feel nice and warm now. Nice. Warm.
Onto the second half then.
Cheers!
I’d better remember to give the hipflask a bit of a polish before handing it back, but I’m not washing it out.
