PigPen

I've spent my spare time during the last few weeks writing another app, this one for the pnut.io social network. It enhances the failures of my first app, for 10centuries.org. Yes, more social networking, surprising for such an antisocial [expletive deleted.]

https://github.com/bazbt3/PigPen

It's a Python program, application; heck call it an app if you must, I'm old. I began programming in the early 1980s, a time at the beginning of the UK's home computer boom, and a time when one had to program to make computers work. And then came the Sinclair Spectrum and its awesome games and all was lost for me by the mid-eighties.

Back to the present…

Yes, I've gone for feature bloat rather than iterate through the creation of bulletproof functions, but it's so satisfying when something works, when something clicks into place in my head, and when someone helps me understand something. That's the very best bit, cooperation!

FAQ (usually means 'frequently asked questions'):

So what does it look like? Old-fashioned.

How advanced is the graphical user interface? There isn't one.

Does it have a SnapChat plugin? Er… a say what now?

Does it have the ability to– Wait! It's written in Python 3.5; in good hands it can do pretty much anything a computer can do–

Ok, can it– No. I'm on but the second rung of the ladder, I can see snakes from here.

Roll 1d6 Oi! You f[CARRIER LOST]

Ok, the main thing I've gained from my progress so far is an enhanced understanding of the effort involved in the creation and maintenance of all the apps and services I'm using right now.

Respect.

Remembrance

We attended the church Remembrance Day service earlier then walked along to the War Memorial where the village congregated for the open-air service.

In church, the Last Post was followed by 'Jerusalem' and the hymns were rounded out by 'Abide With Me'.

The last time I heard the Last Post was, well, the previous years' services and at a great Uncle's funeral service. He'd fought in Burma during WWII, was a member of the Burma Star organisation, had a significant number of compatriots along in his last day.

So yeah, I LOL'd this time as well as that.

No, wait, no; the thing with tears and a swelling of the breast. Yeah, that thing.

Feedback

Online feedback I provided to the UK Liberal Democrat party after being asked why I've not renewed my membership:

"During the General Election and Brexit campaigns the party failed to detail the compromises you found necessary to remain a partner in government with the Tories. When presented with in-your-face opportunities to spell out the goals junked by the LibDems to allow moderation of socially egregious Tory policies, every one of your representatives rolled over and failed to spell it out for the benefit of the casual voter. The public in general are sheep, have binary choices – Labour or Tories – their impression is the LibDems are Tory-lite; you'll have a long, long time in the wilderness being nice to the nasty party."

Sweaters

I'm old enough to remember the day sweaters (jumpers if you like) were designed to keep one warm, and not a paper-thin, size-too-large fashion statement.

Soup

Tonight we visited the local cricket club's annual bonfire and firework display for the funfair rides, hook-a-duck attractions and food stalls. Always a grand occasion.

I spent time during the firework display casually pointing out to the girls the importance of standing back from fireworks, all the rest, and literally pointing out the respect the technicians had for the explodey-things. We might get some fireworks tomorrow, but no bangs.

Afterwards we returned home and settled down to comfort Ruby dog after all the bangs in her neighbourhood, and I settled down to some Hallow'een-pumpkin soup, the best soup I'd made in my life. Really, we'd tried it earlier and it was, mmmm…

I put the heat under the soup, sorted the girls clothes out, put the recycling in bins, then went upstairs to change and pee, leaving the girls to make warm drinks.

A little while later… I sniffed, "Delicious."

A first: I'd burnt the soup.

Woodford Reserve

Sod it, I'll add a drink to the food order; the tablets say I can have a drink!

Woodford Reserve rye whiskey.

There is no contraindication so don't worry, but I doubt the manufacturer would want to encourage irresponsible behaviour. No, in answer to the question I sense forming, the tablets don't talk to me, that'd be a bit weird.

Home Alone

Most people faced with a day off, and family away during a school holiday week would, I'd guess, go insane and do all kinds of exciting things.

Today I ran out of Earl Grey tea and burnt last night's pizza instead of gently reheating it in the oven.

The highlight of my day then has been the successful, if well overdue, defrosting of the freezer. During the mammoth session I discovered that the ice above the top serpentine had built to such a thickness and expanded to such a degree that it'd pulled out one of its supporting bracket screws. The left front one! Danger, mild peril! And the thermocouple is a bit floppy now but seems to work; no signs of an impending ice age yet.

Incidentally, IKEA-Whirlpool didn't make frost-free fridge-freezers when we put the kitchen in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Dishwasher sequel (sweary)

We needed a new dishwasher. We have a new dishwasher, bought from a well-known Scandinavian flat-pack furniture and accessories retailer. But this morning I got a call from the well-known UK white goods retailer mentioned in my previous related post.

"Hello Mr Turner, this is Jimbobflibblywibpants [not his real name] calling from GrueGoods.com [not the site] about your delivery today."

Fuck!

He was ringing about the order the retailer and I jointly cancelled a few days ago because they couldn't fit the dishwasher today.

Muppets. (Would do better.)

Dishwasher (sweary)

We need a new dishwasher. The old one is at the side of the house awaiting collection by one of the rag-tag bunch of folks who collect scrap metal with no fees, no questions asked.

  1. Well-known electrical goods retailer: 10-21 days? Nope.
  2. Well-known online white goods retailer: in stock available for fitting for a very modest fee: 3 days. Great, I ordered it! A few minutes after, they phoned. Nope, computer days no. Actually, the computer says yes even though they can't meet demand.
  3. Well-known premium department store: Next-day delivery and installation for a fee, great! So I ordered it. Apparently I qualify for free standard delivery even though I'd be paying for next-day? Great! I choose Monday. It turns out choosing Monday on the mobile site means a week on Monday. I cancel on the telephone.

For fuck's sake, it's the 21st arsing century, how difficulty can it be to organise delivery efficiently? To spell things out before the customer presses the poxy button to commit to spending hundreds of pounds on…

Twats.

17 minutes ago I cancelled. 15 minutes ago I received notice of cancellation and refund. Just now, just fucking NOW, a text pops up to confirm I'd be getting a dishwasher installed a week on Monday!

Food

When ordering food for other people or for myself and others I'm unlucky.

The modern world is set up to make things easy for those who would let others take the strain of food preparation: go out to eat, or pick up the phone or electronic device, speak or blindly stab at buttons until something vaguely resembling a meal is concocted, then sit and wait. And occasionally peer out of the window if within the comfort of home, as if that will speed up the delivery process.

In theory it's foolproof. But no. For when I get involved it all turns to sh…

It'll either have not quite what was ordered, or something completely random thrown in, or it'll be late when visitors need to go home right after the meal we've spent seconds preparing.

When we're out anywhere my wife knows to order for the girls and herself and leave mine to me. It all arrives exactly as ordered, all of it, even mine.

Even some colleagues now know not to trust me, especially since the now slightly-famous 'non-popped egg yolk down the front of the shirt incident' of September 2017!

Unlucky Baz?