Yes, it's that time of year again; we're decorating!
Paint, paper (the big bedroom), mild peril.
Invisible
During winter the darker hours bring out the worst in people. I'm not talking about death, mayhem, increased criminality; it's a simple as a disregard for child and personal safety.
Every morning I've been seeing see cyclists ride along busy roads, black clothing, black bags, black bikes. Even on the wrong side of the road. Lights? None. Adults don't seem to care, and children… Well, surely parents and schoolteachers should be monitoring departures and arrivals?
There's a phrase. Most don't seem to know what it means, don't seem to care:
"Personal resonsibility"
noun,
modern, ambitious, ambiguous:
1. An overwhelming reliance on state initiatives to promote a sense of wellbeing in self.
Yesterday evening around 5pm, as I was driving home, I spotted a young man walking past a high hedge above a low wall. That is I eventually spotted him; his clothing (not camo) hid him very effectively. Though visibility was reduced by that time of day, by no means everyone had side- or headlights on…
And don't get me started on drivers of black cars – overwhelmingly the most common group to avoid side- and headlights entirely, Is it a part of the mindset involved in the purchasing decision?
Modern LED car sidelights are annoying too. Daytime running lights at the front, but absent entirely from the rear, bypass common sense entirely. Drivers get in the car safe in the knowledge that people in front can see them…
A stealth, Darwin-Awards-winning society, that's what we have.
Steps
A week and a half ago the Sony Lifelog app on my phone announced that I'd passed a milestone: 500,000 recorded steps.
Its not a massive total for the around 5-1/4 months I've been allowing the app to record my comings & goings. It averages less than 3,200 a day. But it means I'm on track for over a million in a year.
A step millionaire.
I'm wondering now what it would have been without the 2 days in London (>33,000) and without Ruby dog…
Thanks; to both bustling metropolis & our chomper.
Stand
Assembling a new, glass-shelved TV stand is very much like making love to, er…
The hardest bit isn't assembling the stand, a thing with pictogram instructions only – which suggests 2 people would be better at it than you.
The hardest bit isn't manoeuvring the TV on top of it from the old, plainly-incompatible stand rescued when the previous, mammoth, CRT TV eventually met its maker (figuratively!)
The hardest part isn't assembling the anti-tip safety strap behind the telly – which has been moved into a temporary but awkward-for-this-stage location.
No, the hardest part is figuring out which cable should be where to minimise the clutter from the myriad of modern device connections – clutter now painfully-obvious through clear glass.
I'd prepared, obviously, by disconnecting everything and laying it out around the room…
Useless.
So, in the time-honoured tradition of the British male when face-to-face with a certain defeat, I resorted to an anagram:
"Oh duck it, it's goof enough!"
Rubus cockburnianus
My wife was watching TV earlier; Monty Don, the gardening programme host, mentioned a flower variety and I'm assuming a caption appeared onscreen.
A quote from her email:
"As soon as Monty Don said it I weed my pants laughing. And then I though of you x"
So…
Rubus cockburnianus.
Really.
It's a bramble.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubus_cockburnianus
Do your own research. It's real, not a 'funny' Wikipedia plant.
Sperm
As my youngest daughter started to read one of her homework reading assignment books, 'Amazing Whales', I have to admit I struggled mightily attempting descriptions before she got the book's true facts.
It's something we attempt every reading session; try to guess, then read, then debrief.
This time though one word in particular made me pause…
…and, silently, admit defeat.
- Easy to describe: Dolphin; Killer, Blue, Grey…
- Intermediate: Baleen, Beluga…
- Hard: Sperm…
Luckily my wife was out walking Ruby dog, otherwise it could have got rather messy.
In other news, Bob The Builder seems to have had a makeover for 2016.
Sacrilege!
Jetwash
My girls and wife went out to the craft shop earlier, getting stuff to decorate their Easter bonnets. I jetwashed the patio – this time with the lance rather than the usual brush with rotating jets.
Not the best idea I've ever had; there was mud everywhere; along the path down the side of the house, on the walls, sheds, plastic wendy-house, in my shoes, socks, jeans and undies; there still is some along the side of the house.
And…
I flooded the utility room; the hose/tap adaptor is rubbish.
Thank goodness for fluffy towels!
Slumber
There's a modern disease I share with a good proportion of the world. There's not a massive social stigma attached to it these days yet all kinds of crackpot remedies are supposed to help…
So what is this thing?
I have trouble getting to sleep, sleeping, and waking at a reasonable hour.
The central foundation – part 1 of my journey to nighttime joy – comes from a potentially surprising source.
Last year I wanted a Windows tablet; HP had just brought one out under ÂŁ100 (US$99) and I'd decided a planned hobby could benefit from its price and convenience. So I searched for reviews.
The first YouTube review I came across was very informative, as the numbers of views attests. Watching it at bedtime though I noticed a curious phenomenon: I'd consistently fall asleep before it ended.
It still works.
Here it is:
Let me know what you th
Paralympics
Posting something about the upcoming Rio Olympics yesterday, I asked a question:
"Who are we supporting this time?"
It should have been obvious really. But it wasn't. In case it's not for you, watch this YouTube video…
Turn the sound up…
Martin, thanks.
Olympics
It's nearly 4 years since the London 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony. 4 years. Wow!
Rio De Janeiro!
Er…
Where's the advance publicity here in the UK? Look, I know a country hosting an event is bound to have a crazy run-up to the main event; local interest in the shape of homegrown heroes* and the possibility of winning a ticket lottery to view a niche sport on a weekday evening are things everyone can grasp hold of…
Who are we supporting this time?
*No, not heroes. Emphatically-not heroes. Role models of course (until the wheels fall off) but a single-minded dedication to accuracy or speed does not a hero make.